Autumn Loving

I am definitely an Autumn kid. Today I walked past a house and caught a whiff of homemade gingerbread cookies and it made me feel...is it too early for the C word? Lets say I felt very festive. Autumn rocks because its the right side of the big C and the anticipation for it is just beginning. The talk of party dresses and comfort food and cold crisp nights tucked up in front of the fire, paints quite the rose tinted scene. Which being a true romantic of course I love.

A great Autumn day would be:

Waking up earlyish when the sun is shining but its frosty cold, piling on the hat,mittens and scarf and going for a walk around a park where you can't hear the traffic and there are a lot of leaves falling.

Making a "hearty" (unhealthy) breakfast depending on what you fancy, putting a little more effort in than the usual cereal or toast.

Relaxing with some books, papers, magazines, doing a little drawing or painting, maybe watch a movie, listen to some music (no television please)

Baking...brownies, cupcakes, gingerbread men, anything with cinnamon.

A hot hot bubble bath with snow fairy bubbles from Lush, because it smells like candyfloss.

A quiet pub with a big bonfire and a little red wine. A few fireworks and a sparkler to write with.

And a sleepy walk home to a snuggly four poster bed...in a castle.

Ok, so Autumn brings out the old lady in me, but I love it. Embrace the cosy.

Perspective

John Ninomiya flies balloons into the sky

2010 has been a strange year, I think it has made people reconsider what is most important in their lives. I know I have. This year my idea of want I want to do with my life has taken shape. I have realised that money doesn't drive me, and I would rather fill my life with happy memories than be obsessed with the next promotion or the next payrise. I like to work hard and I'm not lazy, if I want something I will make sure I get it. But taking time to live in the moment is more important to me now. I used to be a perfectionist, to always look to the future, to try to improve my situation and to always want more. I still have that trait and I am rarely complacent, I believe that we make our own luck and that achievement takes effort and organisation. But I have also found that a lot of worries about the future are created by an overactive imagination, which leads us to miss out on what is happening now. Learning to ease off the pressure and let some things work themselves out, frees up my mind for more creative thinking, which naturally makes me more productive. Something that gives me perspective is to ask myself, will this matter next week, next month or next year? Normally the answer is no and then the problem that was about to take over my life seems quite manageable. I think its ok to screw up and make mistakes. I think its worse to sit around wishing you could change your life but being too scared to do anything about it. Lay off the planning and see the opportunities around you.

Playtime

Take off your watch and go kick some leaves

Being nice

Women, ladies, girls, chicks, you can be anything you like, be happy, be sad, be crazy, be passionate but please stop being bitchy. It seems like I can't read a magazine, watch TV or overhear a conversation without being bombarded with girl on girl bitchiness. It doesn't do anyone any good you know, it makes us all look like idiots. If you have to be insulting as least do it because you mean it and be brash and upfront without trying to maintain popularity. Telling a girl you love her hair then bitching about how her dress is too tight as soon as she leaves the room...where is the integrity in that? Why does it always have to be such a competition? There is always going to be someone more beautiful, more intelligent and more interesting than you, and this will prove itself with all that time and effort you spend trying to get one up on every girl that intimidates or annoys you. I know its so easy to do it, but loves its our culture not our DNA that has drummed this attitude into our heads. So screw the magazines that pick out imaginary faults, chip your nails and play in the mud and have a laugh. You don't have to bake cookies for every person you meet and you dont need to stop blowdrying your hair. But maybe if you fill your own life with simple messy fun then it might not matter so much if your colleague or your friend or your exs new girlfriend has split ends or too much eyeliner or a bad fake tan.

Leap of Faith

This week I took a bit of a leap, I was offered a job on Thursday in Manchester, quit my old job on Friday morning, went back and cleared out all my stuff on Saturday and moved to Manchester on Saturday night. I have been utterly broke, sold all my dvds and a necklace for a train ticket and walked around with my life in a suitcase trying to find a room. I discovered that I'm driven by my instincts and ridiculously idealistic. But that works for me. Its been amazing, bit of a rollercoaster, a bit scary but mostly exciting. I have been running around without a clue of where I would sleep the next day and down to my last tenner. But I wouldn't have changed it for anything, its been impulsive and at times there was stress worthy of a few cigarettes. But thats me at my best and the whole time I didn't doubt for a second that it was the right thing to do. Sometimes these things come along and you have to take a jump and believe it will work, otherwise what are you gonna do? Probably regret it. Ive been told I'm crazy, but the important people should know by now not to be too surprised. If you have a roof over your head and food in your tummy, even if it is Cocopops for tea, your doing alright, your doing better than most. Don't think im naive, I know that money helps, its not just important, its essential, but its not everything. This doesn't happen every day, I wouldn't want it to. But I will always remember the week I turned 23, to anyone else its just a little story, it doesnt sound like a big deal, people do it all the time. That suits me, its just my little story and to me it has meant everything. Knowing that you are being true to yourself and actually following your ideas through is good for you. Following a hunch is a really great feeling.